Poison Ivy League Here I Come

This is me holding up a glass of Veuve Clicquot champagne celebrating my acceptance to the Columbia University ETP nurse practitioner program! I'm calling it my return to the poison ivy league because as a nurse practitioner... well you get the idea.

And just in case you don't get the idea, here is a quick explanation:
"A nurse practitioner is a registered nurse who has completed advanced education and training in the diagnosis and management of common medical conditions, including chronic illnesses. Nurse practitioners provide a broad range of health care services. They provide some of the same care provided by physicians and maintain close working relationships with physicians. An NP can serve as a patient's regular health care provider.

"Nurse practitioners see patients of all ages. The core philosophy of the field is individualized care. Nurse practitioners focus on patients' conditions as well as the effects of illness on the lives of the patients and their families. NPs make prevention, wellness, and patient education priorities. This can mean fewer prescriptions and less expensive treatments. Informing patients about their health care and encouraging them to participate in decisions are central to the care provided by NPs. In addition to health care services, NPs conduct research and are often active in patient advocacy activities." (from www.healthcommunities.com)

Elsewhere in this blog I posted my personal statement which I wrote for the application, and for those of you who know me, I think you will agree that this seems like a really great move for me. Throughout the process everyone has been so supportive, writing me great recommendations, saying how they were sure I would get in, asking me if I had heard yet and so on. I have been really touched by all of your support. Thank you.

There have, however, been a few hiccups in the process, an almost 100% electronic process. The first was my prerequisites which I decided to do online at the University of Phoenix. I also took the GRE's online, or essentially, as you take the test at a computerized center and get the results right away. Luckily, I did well even though I thought I was tanking the math section and was praying the whole time that it was the experimental section.

In terms of prereqs, I needed to take Anatomy and Physiology, Statistics and Microbiology to apply. Columbia, which receives a lot of applicants, doesn't even do interviews, they just rely on grades, GRE scores, the prereqs and your personal statement. For this reason, I approached my UoP classes seriously, assuming that I would be learning the foundations of my future career.

Taking classes online is weird. You have to log in so many times a week, and post your answers to the study questions and reading. You even have to participate in so many discussions per week, which a way of recreating the realworld classroom experience. One of the problems is that nothing makes up for the lack of lectures and teachorial transmision of knowledge. The teachers become chat room moderators and lesson organizers and you are left to rely on the textbooks and the single mothers in rural areas away from institutions or that have full time jobs and can't attend regular classes. It was actually a cultural experience as I'm not sure I've ever really hung out (if exchanging chat room postings can be considered hanging out) with people from the middle, red states. People who don't believe in evolution, or statistics for that matter--even half way through the class on statistics!

My takeaway from online classes is that it's kind of weird and broken, but if you need prereqs and don't care whether you really learn something and have the money then it's not so bad. Not glowing praise, I know.

The second hiccup in the process was the online notification system. I understand that not sending out letters and having all the recommendations etc. be submitted online probably saves what the French might call un tas de paperasse, but it lacks something in style and dignity.

I remember when I got accepted to Dartmouth. Things were different. I had just had my wisdom teeth out and was laid-up on the couch when the envelope came. It was quite thin which seemed a really bad sign. My mom brought me the letter and then left me and my cotton swabs in peace. The moment was memorable. Opening the letter and reading that I had been accepted and that despite the thin missive more information was on its way. I remember crying out in celebration and pain as my gums started to seep blood.

I feel like you just can't get that kind of drama and feeling from an electronic notification. As it turned out, we were sent an email several days before admission decisions were set to go out, just letting us know that they would be coming out in a few days.

"Dear Kevin Lapin,

"Decisions for the Entry to Practice (ETP) program will be posted this week. Please make sure you check your email on a daily basis..."

This was kind of exciting, but I didn't quite understand why. I mean why not just wait and contact us in a few days when the decision was available?

The next email came the following day, this past Tuesday Feb. 3 at 5:12pm.

"Dear Kevin Lapin,

Columbia University School of Nursing has made a decision on your application. You may access your decision through our online notification system located at the following URL... Thank you for your interest in Columbia University School of Nursing."

Here it is. It's on. I click on the link and log in. My breathing has become shallow and my muscles are a little tense. I guess this is a phsyiological form of 'the envelope please, and the winner is' type of drama that I have been regretting.

I search around the website and cannot find a link, the putative link, to my acceptance decision. This does get my blood flowing, mostly to my temples it seems which are beginning to pound. I can't find it. I log out and log back in. I close the browser window. I quite the browser and restart it. Nothing.

At 6:05pm I receive the following message:

"Dear Applicant:
There was an error in the decision system. Your decision will be available tomorrow. Please disregard the previous email. You will be sent a new email once all the decisions are posted...We apologize for the inconvenience. Sincerely, the Director of Admissions"

So now I've got to wait another 24 hours, but knowing that the results are ready. This is like someone delivering the letter but then not letting you open it. It's at this point that I realize that there is just something more frustrating and stressful about computers than dramatic and suspensful. It's the lack of texture, the lack of emotion. The same thing happens with those email quips that are supposed to be funny--and would be too were they said in person or over the phone--but which end up coming across as flat or down right rude.

At 7:37pm I receive another email:

"Dear Kevin Lapin,

Earlier today you received a notice alerting you that there was an error in our system. Even though this only affected a couple of applicants, we wanted to correct the problem. We were able to correct the issue, and fix the system. You are now able to view your decision. Please follow the instructions below...Your application decision is now available online..."

Here we go again. I log in again. I see the link. I click the link. I wait while it is opened in a new window and:

"On behalf of Columbia University School of Nursing, I am pleased to offer you admission to the Combined BS/MS Entry to Practice (ETP) program and Family Nurse Practitioner specialty beginning May 27, 2009.

"I invite you to attend our Visiting Day on blah, blah, blah...to learn more about the blah, blah, blah.

"In order to reserve a place in the 2009 class and blah, blah, blah...deposit of $500 by blah, blah, blah...Other materials, blah, blah, blah...sent to you at a later date.

"Blah, blah, blah and...the faculty joins me in sending you our best wishes. We look forward to having you as a student at Columbia University School of Nursing."

Woohoo! Whap-doo-Whap! Youpii!

And the rest is history, as they say, or will have to remain that way because I don't remember much else. Blame it on the Veuve Clicquot.